The way things go

I must have said this to sumone close to me or to a stranger n i dont know if they'll ever understand it or ever understood it,i must have been at any part of this world,but all i've known is u've been with me through out....its true to say that life goes on but theres this lil place in our hearts where loneliness persists n i have you there with me....there r times wen v live on hopes,there r times wen v live on anticipation,there r times when v live with our pasts....sum people come out of it n sum people bury themselves in these thoughts,i had you during all these times...i dont know if the rest of the world gets their drive to move on from within themselves or from their inspirations but i've found my drive in you...i'd learnt n known that families keep u sane from this insane world,now with a big step of my life its the same family that has very easily given up on me,with no support from them i would have lost hope long time back but then i look besides and i have YOU

Ever again????

I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I never had a yearning quite like this before
Now that you are walking right through my door

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

A sacred gift of heaven
For better worse wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down
Or take your crown, never

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

And everytime, I've always known
That you were there, upon your throne
A lonely queen, without a king
I longed for you, my love forever

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again

Meet the father

Here i have before me two families,both of which r abt to b one in a couple of mnths by virtue of their kids.....its the girl's family n the boy's family who have decided to get married...n i see this family happy,planning the occasion,getting excited abt the events to come,congratulating the boy n girl, n then i see this family who is solely governed by the man of the house,if he says yes then it is yes,if he says no then it is no,if he doesnt wanna b a part of the occasion then he'll do all he can in his capacity to ruin it n if he wants to b a part of it he'll make everyone happy with his decision......wat i see is the difference in point of view wen both of them see the same future,i see the ego n stubbornness taking over the kid's happiness n i see the father closing his eyes just because he doesnt want this to happen....its weird to b a son of tht father cos its not a very pleasant feeling to go thru wen all u wanted was his approval so tht he doesnt feel tht things r happening behind his back,it also feels weird to know tht their r fathers who know n appreciate the happiness their kids seek for n their egos r kept aside atleast for tht moment...n wen all of this goes on,it feels weird to meet a father,a father's understanding tht u always wanted to have...

father and son

We both have been living like this for quite sumtime now,both bound by our own egos,not wanting to talk to the other person yet living under the same roof....our day goes sumwhat like this,by the time m up,hes gone to the office,he doesnt care wat i do during the day i dont give a f*** wat he does in his office,wen m home in the evening m in my room n hes before the tele....v face each other for the first time during the day at dinner,no words r ever spoken n as the day gets over v r off to bed....the relationship is of father n son but he talks more to my bro n sis who r miles n miles away frm us now,he knows more abt the neighour's kids,but he knows i exist too.....
yes,the fabulous advice in this case is...oh,y dnt u shed ur ego,if he doesnt then y dont u initiate the talks,hes elder than u so y dont u try.....
n the answer....how can a person start a conversation wen prior to the conversation itself ur given the vibes tht i dnt wanna talk to u,wen the mere look in the eyes tell u tht a creature like u dnt deserve anything ur getting,wen the anger shown by his every action kills the normal talks abt anything possible,wen he starts talking at ur back tht theres nothing tht u do wud b right,wen he cant trust u for anything tht u do n every action done by u is looked wid disgust n hatred...
yes,as a son m supposed to respect him the most,i grew up learning tht he can never b wrong but now i've learnt more frm life,i've learnt tht he may be right at times but he can always be wrong too....i've learnt tht hes not god n watever he says is not the last word....wen he cant even b a part of the normal moments in my life then i dnt really care if hes even involved wid the most important decisions of my life....i mite hate myself for it all but dad,i hate u more for being wat u r...

misunderstood...

Since the day i've known i cant spend my lifetime without her,i made a promise to myself,i decided tht i'll never keep her unhappy,i'd gather all the happiness i can n give it to her but not everything goes the way u plan them to....
n i made her cry yet again today...misunderstandings happen in every relationship n v talked abt it,v talked abt making it work out by reasoning them together n v did tht today too,the misunderstanding was gone but it did cost me a lot,it made her unhappy for tht moment,it made her cry for tht moment....i dont know wen will i realise tht life is more than the small shell i live in,its more than the insecurities i bind myself with n end up hurting her....
for now,all i know is i will not let it happen again cos i know she's here with me to take me out of my insecurities n hold me everytime i fall down into my face...

back from nowhere

Somebody asked me the other day as to y i didnt blog anymore,n all i cud tell her was tht i dint wanna write down sumthing which i shud b discussing with her n now i sit here to write this blog again,its not tht i cant talk to her abt it,its just tht i wanna write abt it too...
n i came back frm the long sail,want to start the next phase of my life whereby i wanna b with sumone forever...all this while,my world has been my lil family of bro,sis,mom n dad...bro n sis moved on with their better halves n their lifes,twas just mom n dad who'd b there wenever i was away or back home...but it changed wid time,SHE came in my life n i was happier...its not a comparison m doing here but i knew i found sumone wid whom i wanted to spend the rest of my life with....
back home wen i was abt to tell them abt HER i knew they wud not understand it....for them m still the kid who shud ask his parents for his decisions....wen i used to look at them laughing n being happy at small things i wud b happy too but there was sumthing within me always telling me tht its gonna end very soon,n its me,its only me whos gonna ruin it all,i wud smile frm outside but weep frm deep within...it all looked like fantasy tht was abt to b brought to a sad end very soon....it was such a strange situation i was put into tht i knew wat is gonna happen ahead n i knw m gonna go abt doing it n even after knowing it all it wud only leave hurting them....i wanted to tell them not to like me,not to b happy cos of me cos i dint deserve it,wanted to tell them at the same time tht watever i wud go abt doing,my love for them will never decrease but i knew i wudnt b looked at tht way....
n the day came wen i had to talk to mom abt HER...she felt hurt n betrayed yet again,all her hopes came tumbling down,she cried but she knew she was crying before sumone who doesnt even care for her tears,how i wanted to tell her how much i was hurt on seeing her cry n the irony of it was i was the one making her cry...all the caring n happy talks v had all this while seemed fake to her,she saw me as the most selfish son in this planet who had done everything in his life as per his wishes n not cared for his parents...i knew it wasnt true n deep within she knows it too...she wept n said,all they wanted was my happiness,shes seen the situations going worse twice at home now n she didnt want the same happening again,but then history has the dirty habit of repeating itself...she was looking so helpless asking her son about her desires as a mother n all i could give her were tears....seeing them unhappy wud b the last thing i wud want,they will always b my priority but i cant give up on HER for them,i just cant...